Smoke
by Tiger-girl-14
Summary: I'm not proud with what I do, I know my brothers won't be either but it is so addictive that I can't stop! Are you going to join me on my adventure?
1. Chapter 1

Hey! Welcome to my stroy smoke! I have noticed that some people thought I had glasses but I don't, sorry for confusing you!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I'm not proud with what I do, honestly but it gets rid of all my stress like arguing with my brother, failing a mission or just need one in general. It is just addictive, some people can agree with me but it is wrong all together.

I am standing in a tunnel at the minute, I puffed out some air before getting some more into my lungs. It tasted disgusting but it was too addictive to stop myself from takin any more.

I sighed as I stumped it out under my foot. I started to walk on my way to the lair feeling calmer then what I did before I left, I left the lair in the first place because Raph and I had a fight.

I got into the lair and hid the packet in my pocket more so you could hardly see it.

"Hey Leo where have you been?"

"just out Don, no need to panic"

But I have a feeling that when they do find out that they will freak out and try to make me to stop, I am able to get a packet when I ask someone to but me some. I know it seems like begging but in New York it works like a charm.

I walked upstairs in the lair and into my bedroom. I layed on my bed thinking about what I do, I know it is a massive secret but I have a feeling that they won't understand why I do it.

All I do know is that my name is Leonardo Hamato and I smoke for relief.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! hope you like the story! Oh and by the way I don't smoke!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I woke up that morning coughing a bit but I managed to silence it so I didn't have any of my family hear it, I walked out of my room when the coughing sided and went into the kitchen to get some cereal because I have urge in the back of my.

I quickly finished my cereal and ran upstairs because I could hardly wait to have the smoke pump through my veins, I got my equipment on before walking out of the lair calmly.

When I got outside of the lair I started running to my smoke point, I got the lighter out of the secret hole in the wall and a fag out of the packet in my pocket and lit it. The fag was being held by the tips of my thumb and middle finger.

It felt good to have great to have it in my system but it tasted really disgusting, I have once waited 2 whole days for a fag once because Shredder kidnapped me and then when I got home from being rescued I ran out the lair to have one because I was so desperate back them.

I took the last puff out of my cigarette and chucked it on the floor before burning it out with the bottom of my foot.

I hid the packet in my pocket more before I started walking back to the lair in the freezing morning air.

When I got home, I noticed that nothing much happened. That's because my bro's think I am doing a morning run.

"Hey dude, have you had any breakfast?"

"Yeah I did Mike"

I saw him nod before I headed into the dojo to train.

30 minutes later...

I watched as my bro's came in single file as they got ready for practice, we all kneeled down on the floor waiting for master Splinter to walk in and tell us what we where learning.

I could here him sniff a bit but that always happens when I smoke, he can smell it but he doesn't have an idea of where or who it is coming from so he just shruggs it off but I am scared about the day when he is close enough to tell it is me.

I sighed a small relief when he carried on with his lesson, hopefully the smell of cigarettes will leave me soon.

2 hours later...

We came out of the dojo with sweat dripping down our foreheads, I walked towards the lair door and went out. I could feel the urge in the back of my head pumping full blow wanting a fag.

When I got to the main smoke stop, I got my lighter out if the wall and fag from my packet i. the belt pocket.

"I'm running out, I need to get some more"

I sighed before lighting the fag in my mouth, it tasted horrid but like joy in every other way. I have no idea why I love it so much but thats probably why I'm addicted.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry if these are all late, My laptop charger is broke and it has ran out of charged so I am currently writing on my Ipad mini!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I had just finished my fag, I could smell it all over me. I started to run so the wind could get rid of most of the smell.

I ran for 1 hour before I came home to a worried family.

"Bro where have you been!?"

"for a run Don, nothing to worry about"

But to tell you the truth I was freaking out inside, how long will it be until they figure it all out? I could feel myself shaking about.

I quickly walked to my room before Don noticed me shaking. When I got in my room I closed my door and leaned against it letting out a sigh in relief.

"Maybe I shouldn't stay out to late"

I walked over to my bed and layed on it thinking how my brothers will react to my smoking problem.

I have been doing it for two years, I still even remember take my first puff of a fag. That was a funny time, especially when I choked.

I smiled at the memory while thinking about how far I have came since then.

_Knock...Knock...Knock_

"Hello?"

"hey bro, want ta do some sparring?"

"nah I'm good"

I heard him grumble before leaving my door.

Raph's POV

I know he is hiding something from us and I am going to get it from him if he likes it or not.

All I have to do is get us alone but all I need to do now is plan it.

"Hey bro, you alright? You look kind of spaced out"

"yeah Don, I'm fine"

I carried on walking towards the dojo, when I got inside I walked straight towards the punching bag and started hitting it.

Leo's POV

I walked out of my room and towards the living room to watch space heroes, I was glad to find no one in the living room. This means I won't have to fight for the tv remote.

30 minutes later...

I finished watching tv with that feeling in the back of my head, I felt my hand playing around the controller as I felt the urge in the back of my head.

I sat up quickly and walked out the lair before running towards my favourite tunnel. When I got there and lit a fag I felt myself sigh with relief. I felt so much better when I had my cigarette un my mouth sucking some of it into my lungs before breathing it out again.

When it was fully gone I chucked it on the floor and stumped it out with my foot.

I sighed before going tot the lair, when I got there though I saw an angry Raph.

"And where have you been?"

"out"

"where?"

"somewhere"

"but where!?"

"a place you will never find out about"

Raph growled before stomping away.

I looked to where he went and glared, I think he is supicous but I wil have to wait and see.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! Thanks for following my story along!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I felt inside my pocket and noticed I had only a fag left, I sighed before I went to my room and got the money I saved up for two packets of fags.

I walked out of the lair and towards the man-hole closest to the fag shop, when I got there I noticed a few ruff people. perfect.

I walked up to them slowly in the shadows.

"Excuse me but do you mind doing something for me?"

"what is it?"

"would you mind buying two packets of fags?"

"why can't you do it?"

"are you questioning me!"

"n-no, sorry sir, I will get them right away"

I handed him my money and waited for the man to come, I was glad when he came back with two Packets.

"Thanks"

"what do I get out of all of this"

"don't push it"

I turned around and walked back down the man-hole in the shadows, I made my way back to the lair while placing the packets of fags in my belt pockets.

When I got inside the lair I saw Raph on the couch, I felt his eyes boring into me as if studying me as if he's looking for something. I didn't make eye contact incase something happened.

I walked into my room quickly and sat on my bed, I noticed Raph has been suspicous of me for quite some time now and it is bothering me. I will have to watch my back.

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down.

"TEA GUYS!"

I stood up from my bed and walked out of my room and towards the kitchen to see pizza on the table.

I walked over to the table amd sat next to Donnie but I was infront of Raph, we had a staring competition going on but we where snapped out of it when we had a plate of pizza put infront of us.

I started eating my slices of pizza while watching out to see if Raph was watching me closely, I was also making sure that Raph didn't notice the packets of fags in my belt pocket.

When we finished the pizza I went out of the kitchen and out into the sewers because I felt I really needed one.

I jogged in the dark and damp sewers until I got into my favourite tunnel which held my lighter.

I got a fag out of my pocket before placing it in my mouth and lighting it, I puffed air in and out of my lungs.

My eyes went wide when I realised I was being watched and by the same person who was being suspicous as well.

I closed my eyes.

"Raph I know this looks...argh"

I put my hand where Raph slapped me.

"What the hell do ya think ya doin!?"

I didn't look at him, all I did was suck in some of my fag before breathing it out again.

"Well!? Are you going to tell me or not!"

"please Raph just calm down"

"calm down, CALM DOWN, my brother is smoking, how the heck am I supposed to calm down"

I slapped him round the head and looked at hin seriously.

"I said calm down"

Raph stood there breathing deeply while holding his stinging cheek.

"Why?"

"why what?"

"why do you smoke!"

"it started after I got stressed from not being listened to, I noticed that when I am near smokers the smoke always calmed me down"

"how long have you been doing this?

I could tell that he was trying to calm down still.

"Over 2 years Raph"

"Leo, your killing yourself, can't you see it!"

I sighed, I wish this could of gone down better.

"Please Leo stop, I don't want to lose you because of this and neither does our bro's and father, please try to stop but if you don't I will get the others involved with or without your permission"

Raph chucked my fag on the floor before he walked away, I was shocked but I also knew that this task was going to be impossible to complete. I was not happy about the fag by the way, I still had half of it left. Oh well, it's gone to waste now.

I sighed sadly before walking back to the lair with a load of 'what ifs' going round my head. Raph could of told the others, what would they say? what would they do?

I felt my breath quicken, I stopped walking and started to calm myself down before I started to hyperventilate. When I calmed myself enough I carried on walking to the lair.

I hope this won't end badly.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey! Sorry I didn't write for some time, I was at my mum's friends! Thank you all for your reviews so far!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I took a deep breath before walking into the lair, everything seemed so calm. It looks like Raph was true to his words and let me try to stop by myself.

"LEO!"

Well I have been wrong before.

"Where have you been?"

"out, why Don?"

"we was all starting to worry you where in trouble"

"don't worry I'm not"

I walked to my room and sighed in relief, maybe Raph did keep his words. I leaned against the door and bowed my head in shame.

I should of never of started smoking, I have no idea what I was thinking. But it's too late now because I did start and I am never going to get out of this mess without trying.

I got off the door but when I did I started coughing really harshly, I had heard this cough before but I couldn't remember.

When I had stopped coughing I realised where I heard it before. It was a smokers cough, I just hoped none of my bro's heard it but I wouldn't be surprised if they did because it was a loud cough.

My eyes widened in panic and I started pacing thinking of what I could do.

I was waiting for the door to be knocked on and have my name shouted to go into the lab but there was nothing not even Raph, but Raph could of stopped them unless non of them heard it but It would be a surprise if they didn't.

I layed against my bed and started thinking, I felt myself breathing deeply.

I calmed myself down before walking down stairs and into the living room where all my brothers was.

I sat down in the single chair, I sighed heavily. I felt the urge come back so I went into Donnie's lab and got a pencil, I then walked back and sat in the same chair I was in before.

I felt my fingers fiddling with the pencil, I noticed Raph was watching me from the corner of his eye. I felt my eye twitching a bit and I knew I was getting desperate when the pencil snapped in my hand.

"Leo that was my pencil"

"sorry"

I had to keep telling myself that this was for my family but it wouldn't go away. I started to breath a bit more heavily, I groaned before walking out of the lair.

I heard foot-steps behind me, I could tell it was Raph.

"Are you even going to try and stop!"

"you have no idea how hard this is for me, Donnie's pencil didn't snap for no reason you know!"

"standing here feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to help ya either!"

"well what do you suggest I do!"

I got to my main smoking tunnel and lit a fag, it felt so good but it was terribly wrong at the same time.

"Give me your fags"

"what!"

"I said give me tha fags Leo!"

"no you can't do that!"

"well guess what, I am!"

Raph snatched the fags from my belt and chucked the fag I had just started on the floor, does he seriously have to do that!

I saw Raph walk away to the lair with them still out, I leaned against the wall and realised something. He's going to tell everyone.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey! Welcome to my sixth chapter! Please if this is updated at a country which is at late at night then please don't read cause I don't want to make you guys sleepy during the day!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I was hyperventilating, I was breathing so quickly that I felt like fainting. I swallowed deeply and tried to slow my breathing down but it didn't work.

I felt myself sliding down the wall and the next thing I know os that I am on the dirty sewer floor, I heard my brothers shout my name as I fell unconscious.

2 hours later...

I felt so tired, my eyes where heavy and my limbs felt like there was weights in them. I tried to open my eyes but when I did I had to close them quickly because of the bright light burning into them.

"Leo are you awake bro?"

I couldn't answer so I did the next best thing, I groaned.

"Bro can you try to open your eyes?"

I sighed before trying to open my eyes but they closed because of that stupid light, who puts a light above someone?

I heard Donnie turning the light switch because he has one of those turning ones for the lab incase he had someone in here if they couldn't open their eyes like me and also so he can see.

I open my eyes and managed to keep them open after blinking a couple of times.

"Good, now can you move your arms and maybe talk"

"I-I can try"

I throat sounded a bit raspy, Don noticed and got the cup of water next to me. He waited for me to grab, I concentrated on my arms and managed to move them and before I knew it I was moving fine again.

I drank the water slowly, I was silently hoping Don wouldn't bring anything up but knowing Don and our health he will ask.

"Leo I was wondering if what Raph said was true?"

"Donnie, what has Raph told you?"

"please just say no and tell me it isn't true"

I knew when he said that that Raph had told him everything. I took a deep breath before answering.

"I'm sorry Don but it's true"

"how could you!?"

"well sorry for getting stressed and annoyed every once and a while!"

"yeah but there was better ways of sorting that stress out then that"

Don walked out of the room with an angry look on his face, my life is getting ruined all because I made the stupidest mistake of my life. What have I done to myself?


	7. Chapter 7

Hey! Hope the last chapter wasn't too dark near the end!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I walked out of the lab with my head down, I have that urge but I can't do anything about it because of Raph taking all of my cigarettes. It kind of disgusts me that they are my cigarettes.

"Leo!"

"what Raph?"

"you look doom and gloom bro"

"I'm surprised your still calling me bro Raph"

"nothing can stop us being bro's, ever"

"thanks Raph"

"you alright? you keep twitching"

"I want one"

"not getting them"

"surprised you haven't burned them"

"we are also keeping the money you do for your chores so you don't keep buying then behind your back"

"fine but I want my money when this has all finished"

"I think we should get you something for you to fiddle with bro honestly, it looks like your ripping the sofa open"

I looked down to where my hand was and noticed my nails had cut into the sofa arm and was tearing it.

"That's probably a good idea"

Donnie came into the room and looked at us.

"Guy's I did some research on this and it say's we should take Leo off the smoking slowly so he doesn't get angry and depressed"

"great"

I shrugged at Raph.

"The only rule out of all of this is that Mike and sensei doesn't find this out"

"I am perfectly fine with that"

They both looked at me strangely.

"What?"

"I think those fags burned your brain"

"cheers Raph"

"no problem"

He walked away and I playfully glared at his back, I saw Don roll his eyes in the corner of my eye. I sighed.

"So whats the first step?"

"stop ripping our sofa open will be a good start"

I glared at Don.

"Don't cool bro"

"well I would like a sofa to sit on"

"Hardy har har"

"right the first step is to get you something to fiddle with"

"like what?"

I saw Raph walk into the room and chuck something at me, thanks to my quick reflexes I managed to catch it.

"Ya can fiddle with that"

I looked down at my hand and noticed a dark red stress ball, I started squeezing it in-between my hand. It didn't do much but it took my mind off things.

I sat down on the sofa and sighed, I could feel this load of stress and anger in the back of my head growing. I had no idea what was causing it but I was angry at everything.

"Hey Leo you alright?"

"why is everyone questioning me, have I done something wrong or something!?"

Don and Raph both looked shocked at my sudden outburst but I didn't care.

"Yo Leo stop talking to us like we're a load of rubbish"

"oh look whos talking!"

"ya got a problem with that fearless"

"yeah I do hothead!"

I did one of the things that I will regret for the rest of my life, I punched Raph right across the face. I punched him so hard that he started coughing up blood, I put my hand over my mouth before running out the lair as fast as I could.

I heard Donnie shouting my name so I could come back but what was the point, only monsters hurt their family and right now I feel like one.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey! Cheers for all the reviews!

* * *

><p>Donnie's POV<p>

I was in shock, how could Leo do that and just run away.

I turned to Raph to notice he was in shock as well but he seemed fine except the red mark on his face which will sadly bruise.

Raph shook his head before looking at me.

"Don we have to go find Leo"

"where do you expect he would go?"

"follow me"

I shrugged before following Raph out of the lair. I followed him until we got to this dark tunnel, we kept seeing a light flicking on and off but it was a tiny flame.

Leo's POV

I was sat in my smoking tunnel flickering my lighter, I was just staring and hardly blinking.

"Leo is that you?"

I sighed before looking at Raph and Don, I fellt really ashamed of myself when I saw the red mark on Raph's face.

"We know ya there Leo so jus speak up will ya"

"yeah I'm here"

"please come out of the tunnel"

"I don't see why, I'm a monster, I hit one of my own family"

"if you say that one more time then I will be the monster in a sec"

I looked up at Raph sadly before coming out of the tunnel slowly.

"I-I'm sorry"

"bro don't be, this is because you didn't have any cigarettes, that happens Leo"

I looked to the side and swallowed a bit.

"Yeah your right, I have no control of my actions when I don't have one, thanks Raph"

"no problem, now can we go home, my cheek is stinging me"

I saw Raph was smiling a bit and so was Don so I let a tiny smile out as well.

When we got home we saw Mikey looking for us.

"There you guy's are! I was about to tell you tea was ready, what happened to your cheek bro?"

I tensed up a bit, Raph and Don noticed but thankfully Mike didn't.

"I got punched in the face by a lucky purple dragon"

"well I'm guessing you beat him up afterwards"

"totally Mikey"

Raph gave a thumbs up while smiling a bit.

We followed Mikey towards the kitchen before sitting down, well Raph got an ice pack first before sitting down next to me.

I felt my fingers claw the table slowly, I looked down and noticed my fingers where clenching. I also noticed some blood from my skin rubbing against the wood too rough.

Raph noticed as well but he shrugged it off, I wish I could of done that but it seemed I couldn't. I knew why as well, I want... No need one right now.

I bit the inside of my mouth causing it to bleed, I looked up and saw Donnie looking worried at me. When Mike was tuened towards the oven to get the pizza out I mouthed to Don.

'Help me'

'do what?'

I nodded to my hand and when he saw my hand I thought I heard him curse in Japanese really low so no one could hear him. I started mouthing to Don again.

'What do I do?'

Don waved his hand in a follow me way, I nodded before following Donnie to his lab. I sat on his examination table amd showed him my hand.

"You want one don't you"

"yeah I do"

"I will give you one after tea"

"why?"

"thats a start to stopping smoking Leo"

"by making me smoke again"

"no by giving you them but they will be given to you after certain amounts of time"

"cheers"

"I will also hive you one before bed so your not stressing during the night and break my lab up trying to find them"

"alright"

Don started putting rubbing alcohol on my hand so if wood got into my hand it wouldn't get infected, when he had done that he had started to rap my hand up in a bandage.

We started walking back to the kitchen after my hand was wrapped, we noticed Mike hadn't noticed we was gone because he was still staring at the oven waiting for the pizza tp be done. Don and I went back in our places quickly and just in time too because Mikey had just turned around.

"Sorry that took some time dudes, now dinner is served"

My bro's and I tucked into our pizza, we had ham and pineapple pizza.

I tryed to keep my mind off the smoking habit but it was always there in the back of my mind, I mainly tryed to think about the pizza flavour but it kept coming back.

I took a deep breath before I started eating again.

I could see Raph was getting worried and kept looking at me, Donnie kept making sure I wasn't hurting myself with the table again and Mike was eating pizza. More like scarfing it down his throat.

When tea was over I rushed off out towards Donnie's lab waiting for him.

"If you think your getting it here then your dead wrong"

I sighed a bit angry.

"Don't get angry with me, just follow me okay"

I nodded before following Don out of the lair.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey! Thanks critical reader for a awesome idea! And smoking is supposed to sound really bad!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I just got to my smoking tunnel when Donnie handed me a fag, I was in so much relief when I started it. Honestly I didn't care if Donnie was looking at me weirdly, this wasn't the baddest thing I have smoked. I'm telling the truth you know, I have smoked weed before. I think I have had it twice or more, I have lost count. I hope my brothers don't find out about it or I will get a whipping.

I think I still have some weed at home as well, I'm not quite sure. I will check at home and smoke it secretly.

I sawDonnie fidgeting awkwardly by the slimy green walls as I was smoking, I was upset when the fag was over. I smiled at the thought of having one later after patrol.

We walked back to the lair after a bit so the fag smell was off me, when we was at the lair I went straight to my bedroom.

My bedroom had grey walls, I had a wooden bed, blue blankets and pillows and a sword display in the corner holding my two awesome katanas.

I walked over to my bed and looked under it to see a load of boxes, I was looking for one thing in particular and was happy to see it. On top of one of the boxes was a bag filled with fags but they weren't ordinary fags, they where weed. I noticed there was three in the bag. They where placed in that bag so no one can smell it which I was glad for.

I decided to have one after patrol when no one expects it.

I couldn't wait until patrol was over but I could guess that you already know that.

"GUYS TIME FOR PATROL!"

Right on time.


	10. Chapter 10

Hey! Sorry I haven't been writing much! I had cadet first aid training at the week and then had school! My life is like a massive adventure!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I was walking with my brothers through the damp and cold sewers until we came to a slimy ladder, we made our way up and stood in the freezing but polluted air.

I felt that smokers cough in the back of my throat and the next thing I know is that I am hunched over coughing.

"Leo are you alright!?"

"yeah Don, I'm alright, lets carry on with patrol"

I could see the confusion retched over Mikey's face but I could tell Raph and Don had an idea of what it is and will probably ask me later on.

We climbed up a red shiny fire escape and made our way up to the roof-top. We started running across the roofs, I was humming happily thinking of the amazing fag at home.

I wasn't really paying attention but I should of because the next thing I know is that the foot and Karai has surrounded us.

"Turtles!"

"Karai!"

"Foot ninja! ATTACK!"

They started running at us like a sea of blck but thankfully there was only fifthteen of them. I started hitting them with the butt of my sword while winding them. I even slashed a few ninjas making them pass out from shock, I felt their blood cover my hand like a life scource. It started itching the more it stayed attached to my hand.

When the fight was over we watch Karai retreat with three of her foot ninja behind her.

I started trying to get the blood off my hands but it was no use. I sighed heavily as it started itching more.

We decided to start running again to see if there was any more danger during the night.

2 hours later...

We had just got to the man-hole when I started feeling ill a bit, I felt my body shale as if it was freezing and it was but I was used to it so it wasn't the cold.

Donnie seemed to notice it amd waited for Raph and Mike to go down the man-hole before turning into a doctor.

"You alright Leo?"

"y-yeah"

"are you sure because you have gone a bit pale?"

"to be honest I'm not quite sure"

"Leo I won't be able to give you one if your ill"

"why not!?"

"because it will make your blood pressure... Leo your ill because of the thing you take!"

"how can you tell?"

"because fags lower your blood pressure making you feel really ill"

I felt myself gulp as I tryed to process this, I hugged my stomach as I started shivering more.

"Come on lets go to the lair"

I nodded and followed Don down the man-hole.


	11. Chapter 11

Hey! Hopefully this will be longer then usual!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

We had just got to the lair, we saw Raph waiting for us which means Mike has gone somewhere else which is great. Raph looked really shocked when he saw me, I felt myself land on the floor onto my knees. My head was bowed down and my arms where against my stomach as I kept shaking.

"What happened to you!?"

"Low blood pressure, one of the symtoms of trying to stop or still is smoking"

I could feel an angry glaze burn into my skull but it stopped when I felt another pair of hands help me up.

I felt my self being pulled up and soon I was back on my feet again, they dragged me all the way to my room where I felt myself being placed on my bed. I felt my gear being taken off me before being layed down and having my blanket tucked in around me.

I wasn't payong attention to what my brothers where doing because I felt so tired but I should of because the next thing I know Donnie has shouted out my full name.

"Leonardo Hamato!"

I looked up tired and noticed he had a bag in his hands, I couldn't clearly see what it was but when my eyes weren't blurry I noticed it was the weed.

Donnie was looking at me with so much anger that I cowered away.

"I can not believe you out of all of us had a stash of weed under your bed, no wonder why it smelt weird in here"

I turned my head up and looked at the ceiling feeling too guilty to look at them, surprisingly I couldn't feel eyes boiling into my head. I actually felt a pair of arms rapped round me and a head into my shoulder, I looked down and saw Don.

I heard him sobbing while shaking his head, I felt guilt come crashing right on my shoulders that very instant.

"P-ple-ase tr-tr-try to st-op smok-ing"

I looked at him sadly with tears at the edge of my eyes, I felt myself sniffle a bit.

"I'll try"

That was the best amswer I could give.

"Th-th-thank you"

We hugged each other tightly as a few tears slipped down my face and hit the top of my head, I slowly felt the pillow come closer to my head and the next thing I know is that the world has gone black.

1 hour later...

I woke up and felt thos horrible liquid in the back of my throat just waitng for me to open my mouth and spew it up, I turned my head and saw Donnie sitting at my desk chair asleep.

I quickly stood up and rushed to the bathroom and in time as well because I felt the vomit leave my throat and into the toilet.

When I was done I leaned against the wall in the bathroom and started wimpering to myself.

I swallowed some of my saliva but my dry throat wouldn't take it, I heard the door open slowly and when I looked I noticed Mikey staring at me.

"Are you alright dude?"

"y-yeah I am"

"dude I have learned that a raspy throat means your not okay"

Mike walked out of the bathroom leaving me alone trying to gather myself up but before I did a tired Donnie ran into bathroom, his snout scrunched up when he smelt the sick which is still in the toilet.

He looked at me really worried.

"Leo please tell me how your feeling"

"I-I-I feel terrible"

Don sat next me on the floor and started rubbing my shell in circles.

"Leo, I need you to eat something with high sugar to try and get your blood up"

I contemplated this a bit, I mean who wouldn't. I had just been sick and now I have been told to eat, I shivered a bit before noding my head.

I felt Donnie stand up and flush the toilet before helping my stand up, I was shaking so I leaned against the wall making sure I was stable before standing up properly.

Donnie helped me walked out of the bathroom, I felt bad. I must of looked so weak infront of him but I am guessing he doesn't care how I look, I bet all he cares about is me getting better.

We finally made it to the kitchen after a tough struggle, Donnie sat me down on my chair before getting something to eat with high sugar.

Donnie placed some orange juice in front of me whils placing some bread in the toaster, I just looked confused at him.

"Jam has a lot of sugar in it"

"oh, I just thought you forgot about me"

"nope, now drink the orange juice Leo"

I hesitated a bit, I was holding the orange juice with a shaky hand. I was finally brave enough to put it up to my mouth and drink some of it.

"See that wasn't bad now was it"

"I guess your sort of right"

Donnie place some toast with butter and strawberry jam infront of me, I sighed a bit before taking a small bite which didn't make me feel ill thankfully. I then took another and another until there was half of the toast left.

"You going to eat the rest?"

"yeah but after I have a drink"

I grabbed the orange juice in my hand but it slipped when my head went really dizzy, everything started swaying. I heard Don shout my name and tried to steady me probably because I am swaying.

I clutched my head hoping the dizzyness passes but all it did was make me see black.


	12. Chapter 12

Hey! Sorry if my posts come up late but year ten is difficult! Especially with homework!

* * *

><p>Don's POV<p>

I can't believe Leo just fainted, I rushed to his side and felt his pulse. Thankfully it was just a faint and not something critical, I picked Leo up the best that I could before taking him to his bedroom and laying him on his bed with great difficulty may I add.

I sat on his desk chair and waited until he woke up but while I was doing that I kind of nodded off because I had hardly any sleep tonight.

2 hours later...

Leo's POV

I woke up feeling like I ran into a brink wall, I holded my head in my palm trying to dull the headache. I looked around a bit noticing I was in my room instead of the kitchen.

I found that quite weird and also the fact that Donnie was in here as well. I was starting to get suspicious but I didn't get time to investigate because I felt really ill all of a sudden. I groaned while holding my aching stomach.

My groan woke Don up, he looked at me tiredly before rushing over to me and checking if I was alright.

"Leo, don't move much, you have just fainted and I don't need you to faint on me again"

I nodded my head slowly because of my headache but my eyes where bulging out of their sockets when I heard I had fainted.

"I am going to go get some pain killers for your head before coming back okay"

I nodded again slowly, Don walked out of the room. I felt myself shivering, I saw the goosebumbs growing along my body. I wrapped my blanket around me more trying to get warm but it didn't work.

When Don came in he placed the tablets and a glass of water on my desk before coming towards me and helping me sit up.

"Leo you feel freezing, are you okay?"

"fre-fre-freezing c-cold"

Donnie nodded at me before heing me take my two tablets, when I had taken both of them I saw Don put the glass on the desk before rushing out my room.

I thought Don had left me but he soon came back, I blinked a bit at him befor eI felt my body warming up a bit.

"I have turned on the heating bro"

"th-thank y-you"

Donnie helped me lay back down before tucking me into my blanket, it kind a felt weird getting tucked in because of my brother but it felt nice.

I felt my eyes closing and soon I was fast asleep but that urge was in the back of my head just waiting for me to wake up.


	13. Chapter 13

Alright so I got told to do a chapter about what master Splinter says! Sorry guys but no turtles in this chapter!

* * *

><p>Splinter's POV<p>

I heard 2 of my sons rushing about and I would of gone to them but something has been bothering me lately.

It is just this weird sense I get when Leonardo comes in, sometimes it is there when all of them come it. It confuses me a lot.

I have tried meditating on this but there is never a true answer, all I get is a blank answer.

I am getting really puzzled, it os just so weird.

Lately I have realised that it seems Michelangelo and I are the only ones clueless to what is going on. I can tell by Donatello's and Raphael's eyes that they know what is going on, but what confuses me the most is Leonardo's eyes of shame every time he comes into the lair with that scent around him.

It isn't a nice scent either. I remember smelling it when I used to live top-side but it just seems to slip my mind every time I think about it.

I sometimes feel like my sons are always keeping things from me and I don't know why, I have no clue if it is a good or bad thing but I am hoping it is a good thing that is secretly happening but Leonardo's guilty eyes say another thing altogether.

I wish my sons tell me what is happening soon but I know that they won't. I just want the tension in the air gone and then hopefully Leonardo, Raphael and Donatello can finally tell me whats going on.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey! Sorry this is really late! Been reading a load of fanfiction updates!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I woke up rubbing my sleepy eyes, I stretched until I heard two pops from each arm.

I got out of bed feeling a lot more better than last night. That urge was still in my head and I knew that if I carried on without a fag I was going to strike out at my family again.

I walked towards the kitchen where I saw my bro's.

"Look who's finally awake"

I looked at the clock on the wall and noticed it 9:37, I felt my eyes go wide.

"Why didn't anyone wake me up!?"

"because you was ill yesterday and I wasn't about to have you relapse again because of training"

All I did was click my tongue in annoyance, we both know that it's partly the reason but he isn't saying anything else because Mikey was in the room.

I got myself a bowl of cereal before plonking down next to Raph. If you couldn't tell I wasn't in a happy mood.

I ate my breakfast slowly even though that urge in my head was killing me to run out of the lair and have some smoking relief but I knew that wouldn't be possible.

When I finished my breakfast, I placed it in the sink before waiting by the lab door. I wasn't in the mood for waiting for the moment.

As soon as Donnie came I was all over him like an excited dog.

"Donnie, Donnie, Donnie, you have to give me one or else I am going to burst with anger"

I could feel anger boiling in my brain just waiting to burst on anyone, Donnie quickly ran into his lab. He did a hand sign meaning I had to wait outside the lab but that is probably so I don't go sneaking fags out of the lair without him knowing.

Donnie rushed back to me and ran out of the lair, I ran out behind him and towards my smoking tunnel.

He gave me my fag as if it will give him a disease, I wasn't looking amused and neither was he when I started smoking.

"Honestly bro! This has to stop!"

"I'm trying alright! Its not easy as you think it might be!"

"I never said it was easy! And stop sending the smoke my way!"

"oops sorry, maybe you should be careful to where you stand!"

I was breathing a bit heavy but I noticed my anger went down and I could no longer feel it, maybe Donnie knew all this time and decided to get rid of it for me.

I looked a bit guilty before putting out my half way lit fag which surprised Donnie a bit.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you"

"all apart of the process you will have to go through Leo"

I looked to the ground where my squished fag was and made a vow to try my ultimate best to stop smoking before anyone else finds out.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey! Thanks for the reviews and the people who gave my story a chance!

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV<p>

I know my brothers are hiding something from me to put it bluntly, I have noticed how secretive they have come the past few days. I have sensed Master Splinter is confused by my older brother's actions as well.

Everyone may think I am dumb but I'm not, I act that way sometimes to see whats going on. It usually works as well but I have noticed that they have gone right around it and carried on what there doing.

I notice the smells that come into the lair sometimes but usually not only Leo has the smell on him so this secret has to be pretty big...

Leo's POV

I was standing in my cozy bedroom, we left my favourite tunnel (sarcasm) two hours ago. I sighed thinking of my task a head of me, it seemed really far but I know it can be closer the more I try to stop.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in"

I looked towards the door and saw Raph.

"What's up bro?"

"Leo, Donnie told me what ya did while in ya smokin tunnel"

I sighed deeply before giving Raph my reason.

"I realised that I am damaging my body and how much it was breaking our family apart, Raph I have sensed Mike and sensei getting suspicious"

"just know that we're always with you no matter what bro"

I smiled at the affection Raph was giving which is hardly used towards anyone, Raph sort of realised before looking serious again.

"Tell anyone and I won't be afraid to flatten ya!"

I couldn't help but start laughing a bit, Raph looked confused but he shrugged it off and left my bedroom.

I was still laughing five minutes after Raph left but they where only little chuckles that I couldn't help escape, my chuckles stopped when I started coughing. It sounded like I was gagging a bit which made me nearly be sick.

I noticed a three fingered hand on my back and when I looked I saw Mikey. Oh this is going to be hard to explain.

"Dude do you need me to get Donnie?"

I was breathing a bit deeply but soon I was breathing normally again.

"No thanks Mike, there's no need"

"NO NEED! You sounded like you was nearly choking!"

I could see some tears rolling down his face, I swallowed deeply before picking out my words carefully.

"Mike, Don already knows about it somI see no point in telling him again"

I was speaking with the softest voice I could do.

"I-I guess your right"

I saw him sniffle before wiping his arm against his snout.

"Come on bro, lets get some pizza"

That seemed to cheer Mike up again, I was dragged to the kitchen while laughing with Mike.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey! Hope your enjoying the story!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

Mike and I had just got to the kitchen, we decided to make the pizza ourselves for fun. We was making a meat feast pizza but with no ham.

Mike was wearing a kiss the chef apron while I was wearing a chef hat, we had flour all over us. We couldn't stop laughing.

"What are ya knuckle-heads doin'?"

"making some pizza"

"I'm surprised that it hasn't burnt yet"

"hey! It has only just gotten into the oven"

"wasn't the point I was tryin' ta make"

I glared at Raph playfully but we started laughing afterwards. I started coughing after a while because of laughign too much. It was a smokers cough and you could tell by how I sounded.

They looked at me really worried as I tried to calm my breathing down.

"Guys... Calm down, its not like I haven't done that before"

I looked worried still but their facial features changed but you could tell my the glint in their eyes that they where still really worried.

I was glad when the pizza was nearly done because they both got really distracted, oh that pizza smelt so good at the minute that it had to be unreal.

When Mikey bought the pizza out of the oven we saw the cheese shining as the meat was sizzling still, the crust was a crispy golden brown. When Mike placed it on a plate it looked like heaven.

I could see Raph was drooling over it and I wasn't surprised when I started drooling as well. Donnie rushed into the room with excitment in his eyes.

"Please tell me that pizza is for all of us"

"sorry Don but its mine and Leo's pizza"

"b-b-but..."

"sorry Donnie"

Mikey cut the pizza in half with so much delicateness, he placed it onto two plates before handing a plate to me. I could see jealousy in their eyes as Mike and I grinned at them with so much evil. What! Its better to have more pizza then just a quarter.

We sat on the couch eating our pizza, it was the bestest pizza I have ever tasted. It was on my tastebuds, my whole tongue tingled with the amazing taste of homemade pizza.

"This is the greatest pizza ever created"

"you said it dude"

Mikey took a large chunk out of his pizza while I ate mine slowly so it could last longer.

We finally finished our pizza, it was worth eating a whole half a pizza.

"I feel stuffed"

"but was totally worth it"

"you said it Mike"

We fist pumped each other while smiling, I got up and took both of our plates to the sink but just as I did everything turned black.


	17. Chapter 17

Hey! I am really tired out from doing cross-country so if this is bad then blame that!

* * *

><p>Don's POV<p>

I heard plates crashing into the sink from my lab, I rushed as quickly as I could to the kitchen. I saw Mikey trying to wake up Leo while tears falling down his eyes, I kneeled behind him and hugged him close while inspecting Leo.

"Calm down Mike, Leo has low blood pressure"

"D-Donnie he j-just fell"

I heard Mikey sniffling a bit which broke my heart so I tried take his mind off the situation.

"Mikey can you get Raph for me"

"l-look after him"

"you can trust me Mike"

I saw him nod a bit while tears streamed down his face, he rushed put of the room to get Raph as I tried to get Leo in a more comfortable position then what he was.

Raph came into the room he was startled and distressed.

"What happened!?"

"he passed out from low blood pressure"

"didn't he pass out from that yesterday"

"Raph, you and I both know what the cause of this is"

I heard Raph swallow deeply before kneeling next to me"

"Raph help me take him to my lab"

"don't have to ask me twice"

Raph picked up Leo before we both rushed off to my lab as quickly as we could. It felt like eternity when we got Leo to the lab.

Raph placed him on the lab bed and I started to hook a heart monitor and some drips to help higher his low blood pressure.

We waited forever until we saw those dark blue eyes beginning to open.

Leo's POV

My eyelids felt they had a ton of weights on each of them, it felt like my eyes weren't going to open but they did open after a long time but I had to close them again because of the light in the room.

I heard a beeping noise, I tried to turn it off but it turns out it was a heart monitor and not my alarm clock. I looked embarrised with red cheeks.

"Erm oops"

I looked at the slgihtly smashed machine as Donnie looked at me dissaprovingly.

"If you break it your getting me another one"

I just gulped a bit, I could hardly move any of my body. I was surprised I nearly broke the heart monitor though.

Getting back on track, my voice sounded really slurred and my body felt heavy. I had noticed that there was a needle in me which leads to a bag with clear liquids and I had another but it led to the heart monitor.

"How long was I out?"

"For about two hours"

My eyes opened really wide and I stared at them shocked.

"LEO!"

I felt something wrap round my waist, I also felt some water on my shoulder. When I looked down I saw Mikey with tears coming out his eyes.

I smiled at him warmly and he stared at me happily. I patted Mikey on the back to give him some comfort, Mike just hugged me harder so I just hugged him back.

This wasn't fair on Mike, all he see's is his brother fainting every now and then but I have to protect him. But how am I protecting him when he is confused and scared.

I looked at Raph and Donnie, they saw that I needed alone time with Mike and left us alone. They probably knew what I was going to do anyway.

"Mike, what I am about to tell you is serious and can not, you hear me can not go to master Splinter"

Mikey looked a bit scared before nodding his head.

"You should know that I am telling you this because I don't like how your left out and getting confused and scared to why I'm fainting"

"Leo it does scare me, a lot and I really want a answer to why this is happening"

I took a massive breath before answering him.

"Mikey, I smoke"


	18. Chapter 18

Hey! Sorry it took a long time to update! Now on with the story!

* * *

><p>Mikey's POV<p>

"Mikey I smoke"

My eyes widened in shock, you have no idea how scary it is to finally know and understand why your brother has been passing out. I couldn't speak or hear anything, I was just starring and sitting in the same place without even moving, My blue eyes were massive when the reason finally came out.

I could see Leo was getting a bit stressed from me not answering him but what did he expect, some congratulations. But what shocks me the most is that he has a reason to go behind it, you could tell by his dark blue eyes as he stared at you. I always wanted to know why he has had that spark there.

"W-why?"

I was looking up at him with so much sadness that he just cracked.

"I was stressed and this leadership stuff wasn't helping me either, I just had to find some relief"

"why so you keep f-fainting though?"

It feels really hard for to grasp that my oldest brother was smoking.

"It's my blood pressure Mikey, it started when I started to try and stop smoking"

"really"

"positive Mike, I am try... No going to stop if it is the last thing I do"

I looked up to him woth proud eyes, I know it will be a bumpy ride but he will pull through this and I am going to help him every step of the way.

I hugged him close, giving him as much comfort as he needed right now.

"Thank you"

"just remember I'm with you every step of the way"

I saw Leo smile, but not his regular smile. His older brother smile, which only comes out when he is proud or happy were all having fun together. But I know my brother id giving me a proud smile which went to my heart to cherish.


	19. Chapter 19

Soz guys but I am going to have a week time skip to get this story moving along!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

The week has been hectic, I have all my brothers watching me like a hawk as if I was going to run out the lair and have a fag. I know they are more trust worthy then that though.

I was sat on the worn out living room sofa watching space hero's, you could see the smile etching on my face as the episode started.

Raph was sat behind me reading a bike magazine, I heard him sigh when space hero's theme tune started playing.

"Don't you ever get bored of watching that show?"

"no"

"Leo, you have nearly seen all the episodes over 1000 times"

"actually Raph he has seen this episode 367 times"

We looked at Donnie gob smacked.

"You count the amount of times Leo has watched each episode"

"well what was I supposed to do when I have nothing to work on"

"read"

"read all of them"

"nerd"

Donnie glared at Raph before walking out of the room, he walked slowly. I bet he could feel mine and Raph's eyes watching him.

I turned back to the tv and noticed that space hero's was half way through but I already know what happens.

"Boring!"

"shh, this is the best part"

We watched as Captain Ryan got his side-kick out of a cage.

"Wow"

"that was not impressive"

"shut up"

I watched the rest of the program with a gleeful smile plastered on my face. I was a bit upset when it had finished but tomorrow there was going to be a marthon of all the episodes.

I felt an urge start at the back of my head, my eye started twitching and it twitched quicker the more I ignored it.

I have been able to control my temper while trying to quit smoking this pass week but you could still tell if I wanted a fag.

"You alright bro?"

"what do you think?"

"just asking"

Raph got up off the sofa before helping me up, he stretched his arms out a bit before we started to head to Donnie's lab. When we got in there we saw Don tinkering with his invention.

"What are you doing Donnie?"

"just upgrading my machine so it can be stronger then it was before, you alright Leo?"

"other then my eye twitching, I'm fine"

"fag?"

"fag"

Donnie got my fag out of his draw before texting Mike to keep Master Splinter distracted.

We jogged out of the lair and all the way to my smoking tunnel.

Mikey's POV

I had read Donnie's message, fifth time today Leo has needed a fag but he has done really well with this quitting thing. He has gone from 35 fags to seven a day, I'm so proud of my big brother.

I saw Master Splinter walk out of the dojo looking a bit suspicious.

"Michaelangelo, where are your brothers?"

"erm... They went to the... Dump?"

Master Splinter was looking at me with disbelieving eyes, I saw him shrug it off a bit before looking away. I started walking to the living room with Sensei's suspicious eyes burning in the back of my skull.

Leo's POV

We had just got came back from my smoking tunnel, we had jogged to get the smell of smoke off us.

Master Splinter walked into the room with studying eyes, he watched as me bro's and I shuffled nervously as he glared at us.

"My son's, where have you been?"

"Erm... Visiting April?"

"Michaelangelo told me you where at the dump"

"oh we did that before visiting April"

I looked at Don with a thankful face, we watched as Master Splinter contemplated what we said while rubbing his beard slowly.

"My son's are you telling me the truth?"

"what, why would we?"

"definitely"

"Master Splinter we have not told a lie"

Father looked at us suspiciously before walking to his bedroom.

"Guys, that was close"

"your telling me"

I was worrying that my secret will get out really soon, I just hope everyone will have good expressions and try to help me.


	20. Chapter 20

Hey! Hope you like the story!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

We got called into the kitchen by Mike, I was still processing that everything is slipping out of fingers. I followed my brothers into the kitchen and sat in my place with a huff.

I placed my elbows on the table and started to twiddle my thumbs in thought.

"You alright bro?"

"not really"

"whats wrong?"

"it's about my secret and how it is nearly blown"

"Leo you know we will all except you no matter what"

I looked to the empty chair next to me and stood up.

"I'm going to go meditate"

"so you don't want tea"

"sorry Mikey"

I walked out of the kitchen and towards the dojo, I walked over to the grey futon in front of the massive tree. I sat down slowly and started to meditate on my problem.

Raph's POV

I watched as Leo walked out of the kitchen upset.

"What's wrong with him?"

I was pointing in the direction Leo had left.

"He is upset with how his secret is coming out, you can also tell he is worried for not being excepted"

I looked sadly in Leo's direction. I wish Leo never had this burden placed on his shoulders. I noticed Mike had a few tears running down his face as he felt really sorry for Leo.

Leo's POV

I got woken up by Master Splinter, he was sitting in a lotus position in front of me.

"Master Splinter! What are you doing here?"

"my son, you seem really troubled lately"

"I-I-I..."

I couldn't answer him, I was staring at sensei with wide eyes.

"Leonardo I would really like to help you but you have to trust"

I looked to the side and started playing with the futon edge where a piece of string was hanging.

"I can't right now sensei, please I am trying to sort it out but I am not ready"

"Leonardo, when you are ready you can come to speak to me but always know you will be excepted"

Sensei stood up and walked into his room, I watched him. I smiled a bit at the words that he said and knew sensei never lied, I stood up from the futon and walked to the kitchen.

"Collected your thoughts?"

"yeah I have, I'm starving, is there any tea left?"

"of course dude"

I smiled as we all started to have tea. I realised that no matter what my problem is my family will always be there for me, no matter what.


	21. Chapter 21

Hey! Hope my story isn't too boring for you!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I was sat up in bed stretching the sleep out of my arms, I looked at me alarm clock and noticed it was 4:28 am. I started rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I got out of bed.

I only just realised this but I want a fag but it doesn't mean I need one, I walked to the living room and sat on the sofa. I started playing with a piece of string which was attached to the sofa. I swallowed as I head my voice screaming inside of my head, it was giving me a headache but I had to win this battle just once to know I can do it.

I put my fingers on my temple and started rubbing it to try and get rid of some of this pain which is pounding my head like a cage. The urge in the back of my head came twice as much as it usually does, the pain was really hurting and the urge wasn't helping at all. I felt my wrapped around the sofa string start hurting a lot, I looked down and noticed I had tangled it in between my fingers.

I heard faint padding of feet behind me, it sounded like sensei's but it wasn't. There was no clicking of claws and they where put against the cold cement floor or the rubbing of the tail as it was dragged across the floor. It sounded like padded feet, I turned around and saw Donatello looking at me really worried.

"You alright bro?"

"I don't know"

"how you feeling bro?"

Donnie sat next to me, you could definitely tell he was in his doctor mode. I could tell by his eyes that he was observing me.

"Terrible, my head is pounding and my hand is hurting"

"your hand is hurting because of the string on the couch, Leo do you know what caused this?"

"the urge"

That's all I have to say for him to fully understand what was happening to me.

"Leo you should of just came to me"

"I have to try and resist the urge"

"your too early in trying to stop Leo, it isn't the time to do this yet"

"when will it be?"

"that's something I don't know Leo"

I looked down at my knee's and thought but knew Don was right.

"Come on bro, lets go get that fag for you"

I looked up at Donnie and nodded, I followed him through the freezing cold lair. We got into Donnie's lab. I had only just realised how creepy it can be, especially at this time in the morning. I watched as Donnie got my fag out of his draw before coming to me.

"Let's go!"

We walked through the sinister sewer tunnels towards my smoking tunnel. you could hear the water dripping from the ceiling as we walked by. When we was in my smoking tunnel, I walked towards a hole in the side of the wall to get my lighter.

I took my fag from Donnie and placed it in my mouth, I bought my lighter up and let it set it catch the flame before placing my lighter in the wall again.

When I took that first puff I felt my head stop pounding, I sighed in relief. I looked at Donnie who had a disgusted look on his face, I couldn't but chuckle.

I noticed some of the smoke which was coming out of my mouth and nose was going towards Donnie.

"Your fault for standing there you know"

"everywhere I walk though it always manages to go towards me, your not doing it on purpose are you"

"me, never"

I couldn't help but chuckle at his accusations. He glared evilly at me but you could obviously tell it was playful.

When I finished my fag I chucked it on the floor and put it put by my foot, you could see all the fag stains on the floor from where I put them out. I had noticed Donnie was looking at some of them when we was down here, you could obviously tell the fag stains to the weeds stains on the floor.

"I've messed everything up haven't I"

Donnie didn't say anything but he looked at me sadly, I looked down at the stains along the floor and started to think to myself.

"Leo it's not your fault"

"how isn't it?"

"because we made you spoke, we shouldn't of got you stressed and putting more pressure on you while you was leader made it more of a burden to carry for you"

I looked up at Don and noticed he was giving me the true facts of why I started smoking in the first place.

"Leo we shouldn't of put all that pressure onto you, I'm sorry"

He looked at me with a guilty look, I walked over to Donnie and gave him a brother hug and he gave me one back.

We stopped hugging and smiled at each other, we both walked back to the lair with smiles on our faces.


	22. Chapter 22

Hey! Hope the last chapter gave a bit of more clearance to why Leo was smoking in the first place! Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT but I do own the story line!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

We got into the lair with the smile still plastered onto our faces.

"Where have you been dudes? It is about 7:43 am"

"clearing something up Mike""

I also gave him a look which he has gotten used to, it was my look to say 'you-should-know-where-I-go-by-now'.

Ever since we have been trying to stop me smoking, I have noticed our bonds have gotten stronger because we are all working as a team on this.

We went into the kitchen and sat down in our places, we waited for breakfast. Raph, Don and I are terrible but I am definitely worst out of all of us in the kitchen. Mikey placed a plate with waffles on it in the middle of the table, my bro's and I looked at each other with slit eyes before jumping for a waffle.

I managed to get one and so did Donnie but Raph and Mikey got two, I'm just thankful I even got a waffle in first place. I was eating mine slowly while my bro's where scarfing it down their necks.

I couldn't help smiling at them, when Mike was finished he burped really loud. I just blinked at him before shaking my head smiling.

I finished my waffle before placing my plate in the sink, I walked out of the kitchen and walked straight to my room. I had decided to try and get some more rest because I still felt tired from waking up earlier this morning.

I laid on on my bed and slowly felt my eyes closing but that got ruined altogether when some one opened my bedroom door. I glared at Mikey as he gulped while laughing a bit nervously.

"I was wandering if you wanted to do some skate-boarding but I can obviously tell that you didn't"

"what gave you the first clue"

I laid under the blanket and watched as Mike slowly walked out of my room while closing the door, I felt my eyes droop again. I was soon in a dream land, thinking about a world with no fags.

Raph's POV

I was watching wrestling, I was wincing every time my fav wrestler got beaten up. I watched in horror as my fav wrestler got knocked unconcouis, I was not happy!

"Hey, whats wrong with you?"

"Dead heat got beaten up by a wimp!"

I saw Donnie shake his head at me before going to his lab. I turned back to the tv to see another wrestling match starting. I watched as a really gymnastic bloke beat up a really muscly bloke, I was shoked as the gymnast knocked out the poor sucker.

I was staring at the gymnast with wide eyes, I didn't even blink. I was pulled out of it though when Leo clicked his fingers infront of my face.

"You alright bro?"

"mind-blown"

I said them really slowly, I saw Leo blink a couple of times before shrugging it off and walking away.

Leo's POV

After that very strange incounter with Raph I decided to go find something to eat, it was sunday so we had no training today.

I got an apple from the cupboard, I then walled to the table and sat down before I started eating my apple. While I was eating Mikey came in.

"Had a good time skate-boarding?"

"yeah dude! It was awesome"

"glad you had a great time Mike"

Mikey walked out of the kitchen with a slice of pizza in his hands while munching on it. I finished my apple and chucked my apple core in the bin. I cheered when it went in.

"You have done that too many times"

"what can I say"

Donnie walked out of the kitchen with a smile and a chuckle. I stood up from where I was sitting and went into the living room. I started playing one of the arcade games when I was attacked by the urge in the back of my head, I breathed in deeply before trying to distract myself with the arcade game but it was there. It was like it wanted my attention all the time.

"Why now"

I was whispering hoping non of my brothers heard but one always did.

"You alright dude"

"y-yeah, I'm fine"

I saw Mikey look at me worriedly before running off to Donnie's lab. I sighed, why couldn't my brothers just listen to me. I winced as a head-ache started to form because of the urge.

"You alright Leo"

I knew that if Don saw my face he will realise what I want, I turned away a bit so he didn't see me.

"Yes, now can everyone stop worrying"

I could feel Donnie's eyes looking at me suspiciously. I could tell the atmosphere in the room has gone really high, I bet Donnie could feel it as well because he dragged me to his lab.

"Why didn't you say you wanted one!"

"because I don't want to always rely on a cigarette for a stress relief my whole life"

"Leo you won't always rely on it but until you stop it is better to have one then going ster mentle and making yourself ill"

I sighed, while we was talking Donnie got my fag from his draw and walked towards me. We walked out the lair together and towards my smoking tunnel, we had a bit of small talk but it was about random things.

Donnie holded out my fag while I got my lighter out of the hole in the slippery sewer wall, I took the fag out of Don's hand and lit it up with the flame from my lighter. I leaned against the wall and started flickering my lighter, I saw Donnie watching us with studying eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"flickering my lighter for my own amusement"

"but why?"

"because I am bored and tired of seeing this tunnel everyday of my life"

"thats why we are helping you stop smoking"

Donnie walked over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder for comfort, I felt warm inside when he looked at me with brother loving eyes. I stared back at his with the same loving eyes.

"Thanks bro"

"anything for a brother"

I put my fag out before walking back to the lair with Donnie, on the way back we was making jokes. I know that was a Mikey thing but it was great fun to spend time with one of my brothers even if it isn't the regular hanging out you would expect but it was fun. We learned new things about why I smoke at the same time, we will fix those problems though together with Raph's and Mike's help.


	23. Chapter 23

Hey again! Sorry I haven't been writing! I have been reading some fanfictions! Thanks to Man of Cartoons (like a brother to me) for helping me get out of writers block!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I had decided to take everyone on patrol tonight, I had noticed we wasn't getting much fresh air. This will be great to get stress out of the atmosphere.

My bro's and I were walking towards the rotten ladder, I climbed up first, then it was Raph, Don and finally Mikey. We jumped up into the dark ally way, I put the man-hole on top of the man-hole before climbing on to the roof of the building next to the ally to meet up with my brothers.

"Where would you like to go?"

"the museum"

"the docks"

"the park!"

I looked Mikey with one side of my mask higher then the other side but soon shrugged it off.

"well I agree with... Raph, lets go to the docks"

Mikey and Donnie groaned a bit before following Raph and I to the docks. We sort of got into a race while running to the docks, it didn't mean to start but it just sort of happened. I came first, then Raph, Mikey and finally Donnie but he didn't really race, more like observing his surroundings.

We was stood on some wooden crates, looking out for any danger. While I was stood in the crate though I felt a massive cough stuck in my chest, it was the cough that reminds me that I am a idiot. My smokers cough.

I holded my chest with my left hand, I felt my brothers eyes look at me worriedly but I shrugged it off. I could tell this cough was going to be much more painful and louder then the rest of the coughs I had, I gulped nervously as I waited for it to come out but it was like it was stuck there.

It was getting hard to breathe, I felt my breaths sharpen and my eyes started to water.

"Snakeweed!"

I turned around and saw the giant rotting weed known as Snakeweed, he was screeching at us.

"Turtles, you will be destroyed"

He came charging at us, I only managed to get out of the way but one of his stalks wrapped round my waist and picked me up as if I was a feather. I started getting chucked around, you have no idea how much I wanted to hurl all over the place.

Raph cut the stalk wrapped round my waist, I fell to the ground in the funny position but the gross part was the purple juice that splashed all over me. I shivered in disgust before shaking the purple juice off me.

I got my swords out of their holders and charged at Snakeweed, my eye's went a bit blurry as I ran at him but I shook it off. I jumped at Snakeweed and broke some of his skin where the rib cage would be, it made him squeal in pain before Snakeweed regenerated his skin back.

I swallowed deeply as I started losing more breath then what I can handle. I started to charge at Snakeweed again but this time I fell into darkness...


	24. Chapter 24

Hey welcome to my next chapter! I'm surprised it has made it this far!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I was standing in a black void looking around, I shouted out hoping for a reply but I got nothing. I started to get more scared and was anxious for a reply.

"This better not be a game! Please is anyone there"

I was left in silence again, my eyes widened in panic and I started running around trying to find an exit.

Don's POV

I watched Leo in the infirmary bed, he twitched from time to time but no evidence he is waking up. He has a breathing mask on, IV drip and a heart monitor attached to him. I'm feeling really scared and so is everyone else.

We have changed since this new atmosphere has came into the lair.

Mikey was always in the lab or his bed crying in sadness.

Raph was always punching his sleeping bag and he won't stop.

Master Splinter is always meditating and trying to connect Leo's spirit but he says it is lost.

me well I just can't stop checking on Leo.

It has been 2 days since Leo went unconscious, It was too painful to smile or even laugh without our brother so we have stopped doing that altogether. Sometimes we even forget to eat anything and we go on for days not having anything.

Raph's POV

My knuckles where bloody amd my body was tired but I kept going. They tried to get me out of the dojo but I won't listen to them, there is no reason why I should have to stop.

I hate seeing my brother like this, I hate it! Never ever seems right when one of us is injured but what scared me the most about Leo is that he fell unconcouis because he nearly stopped breathing. His skin was turning a light blue, we was so glad when Donnie got him breathing again properly but he says now it is up to Leo

We all know Leo is tough enough to face this but it was taking forever, I am so angry that he woke up but I am more angry at him for not telling us he couldn't breath properly. But I am raged at him because him smoking bought this all up.

I punched the punching bag more harder making the chains brake. I was breathing heavily with rage.

Mikey's POV

I was sitting in my messy room thinking over what has happened lately, why does everything always happen to us. Why!

I started sobbing quietly so my brothers don't hear me but they know I will be doing it anyway. I started stroking the sewer wall next to my bed to try get my mind off things but they always pop up like a pop up ad.

I breathed in deep, I remember that day like it was a minute ago. It was haunting me and I hated it. I punched my pillow in sadness and anger.

I felt tears pouring out my eyes a lot faster then what they where.

Leo please wake up soon!


	25. Chapter 25

Hey! Sorry I haven't been updating! Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story line! *starts sobbing quietly*

* * *

><p>Don's POV<p>

I was just checking on how Leo was doing, it has been 5 days now. I sighed in sadness, this family needed Leo back and fast.

I walked to my lab door before looking back at him as if he was going to wake up at that second but he didn't, I hung my head before walking out of the lab depressed.

30 seconds later...

Leo's POV (A/N: guess who's back! I bet you missed him in action! Don't lie to me! I know ya did!)

I was in this dark void when my eye lids just flew shut, I tried to open them again but they where really hard to open. I used all of my concentration on getting my eyes open.

It was really hard, I bet my face was scrunched up in so much concentration that it was unreal. I finally was able to open them but they closed again when a bright light blinded me.

I think I made a squeak noise as my eyes closed, I placed my arm across my closed eyes tightly so I couldn't get blinded when I opened my eyes again. I heard something bang around me.

I was going to defend myself but I was weak, I couldn't move much except my arms but my legs where stiff. I tried to swallow but my dry throat wouldn't let me swallow anything. I even have no idea how or why for that matter, how exactly did I end up like this.

"Leo, are you awake?"

It sounded quiet and frightened, but it was my brothers voice. Michaelangelo. I just groaned a bit to know I was awake but I also groaned at this headache or was the urge? I have no clue.

"LEO!"

Mikey hugged me tightly, I was quite surprised I didn't hear anyone else running in. I lifted my aching arm and tried to open my eyes but they where still blinded, I closed them again and made a whimper noise.

"I will turn the lights down bro"

I heard the switch tstart turning a bit before I opened my eyes again, this time I was able to see. I saw Mikey's face blur into my vision, he was hugging me tightly so I moved my aching arms around him tightly.

"What...happened?"

My throat was raspy, it hurt when I spoke. I unwrapped my hands from Mikey's shell and holded my throat.

I saw Mikey run out of the lab, I thought he left me but he instantly came back with a glass of water in his hands.

He sat me up a bit before help me drink some of the water, it was great to feel water going down my raspy throat. I swallowed some of my saliva when the water was gone to savour the taste.

"What happened to me?"

I could speak a bit clearer then before but it was still raspy. The headache in my head was really bad but it felt like the urge at the same time which confused me a lot.

"You passed out when we was fighting Snakeweed, you nearly stopped breathing bro!"

I looked at Mikey with shock and a bit of sadness.

"I'm sorry for scaring you"

"bro, everything has been messed up lately"

"why?"

"no one is acting like there selfs anymore"

He started sobbing in my chest, I couldn't believe I did all that just from passing out. I felt terrible but I decided it was up to me to get everyone back together as a family again.

"Mike help me up"

"what! Why!?"

"time to get this family back together"

"no bro please stay!"

I moved my stiff legs over the side of the lab bed, I heard them crack a bit everytime they moved a bit. I stood up but stumbled a bit, I managed to grab a hold of Donnie's desk.

I walked a bit with a little limp towards the lab door when Mikey showed up in my face.

"Dude stop! You have been out for 5 days"

I was shocked that Mikey said I was out for five days, I let go of the door frame and fell backwards. I hit the ground with a large thud, Don and Raph came rushing out to see what happened. They where shocked when they saw me.

"LEO!"

I was pounced on by Raph and Don, I felt the wind getting knocked out of my lungs.

"Can't... Breathe"

They got off me quickly and helped me up, that was when Donnie got into his doctor mode.

"What are you doing out of bed!?"

"trying to get this family back together"

"what you mean?"

"Mikey told me no one was acting like them selfs"

"because its true Leo, we was just upset that you didn't wake up"

I looked at Donnie's screwdriver which was on his desk sadly.

That headache came at me full pelt, I grabbed a hold of my forehead while wincing.

"Leo! Are you alright?"

"this headache is hurting"

"that also may be from not having one in the past five days"

I swallowed deeply as this headache was bouncing from my brain to my forehead, it repeated over and over again.

I saw Donnie leave my vision before he came back with one of my cigarettes, 2 tablets and a glass of water. I wanted to grab that water and chug it so my throat was less dry.

Donnie help me take the two tablets before helping my have a drink.

"I know your supposed to rest but you might start going crazy because you can't have one"

I swallowed deeply before nodding to him, he took me by the arm and helped me out into the freezing cold sewers. It felt amazing on my hot forehead but the rest of me was shivering, we finally got to my smoking tunnel.

I rushed over to the wall and got my lighter out, I had put the fag in my mouth and lit it when I heard a gasp. A really recognisable as well.

"Oh shell"


	26. Chapter 26

Hey! Hope the cliff hanger made you want to know who the person was but it is a 1/3 guess that you will probably get it right! So is it Casey, April or Master Splinter? Well you have to read and find out won't you!

* * *

><p>Leo's POV<p>

I was scared stiffness. I couldn't move, my limbs were frozen in place. I swallowed deeply as I turned my head a bit to see the shadow looking at Don and I, we looked at each other scared before looking back at the shadow.

"What is the meaning of this!?"

I couldn't speak neither could Donnie so we was stuck not being able to answer him.

"Well ya see erm..."

I looked at Donnie with a 'nice try' look before going back to the shadow. I rubbed the back of my neck in nervousness. I looked away sadly at my fag before answering.

"I... Smoke"

"why?"

"the stress and the burden of being leader was too much, I couldn't carry it, I'm a failure"

"Leonardo you are not the only leader in the world who needed help carrying a burden"

"so you're not angry at me?"

"yes! I am absolutely furious"

I sighed before having another puff of my cigarette to try to get rid of some sadness that started to grow.

"It's not just his fault, we helped turn him like this sensei"

Master Splinter looked at Donatello with questionable eyes as he stepped out of the shadows.

"What do you mean Donatello?"

"Sensei, Raph, Mikey and I pushed Leo over the edge that started this whole thing, you can't just blame Leo for this"

"Is this true Leonardo?"

I looked sadly at the ground in front of me before sighing.

"Yes sensei"

I puffed on some of my fag before feeling a bit embarrassed, I must look really weak right now.

"I am trying to quit, I know I am doing well at it as well but..."

"you don't know how to love without them"

"exactly, once I get off them I will have a ton of stress and my burden pushing down on my shoulders"

"that's why we will all bare the burden together my son"

I looked at sensei with happiness, I took my last puff out of the cigarette before hugging sensei tightly. I felt his arms wrapped tightly round me. We pulled a part and looked a bit sheepishly.

"The smell will hopefully go before we get back to the lair"

I saw him shake his head a bit before walking back to the lair with Don and I behind him, we reached back to the lair to find Raph and Mikey waiting for us. They looked at sensei with a bit of fear.

"Don't worry guys, he knows"

They sighed in relief a bit, we sat on the sofa and talked this whole smoking thing out. I felt tired from exhaustion half way through it but I tried to stay as wide awake as I could but I fell asleep with my elbow on the sofa edge and with my head in my hand.

Mikey's POV

We was going on about how we felt about Leo's smoking and how we are going to help when he quits. But I noticed Leo had fell asleep. I was like the only one who noticed he was asleep.

"Erm guys"

I pointed towards Leo and they saw what I was going on about.

"He must have felt exhausted from not getting proper sleep these past five days, Raph can you take Leo to the infirmary"

"Why not his room?"

"because its closer and I want to monitor during the night"

Raph nodded at Donnie before picking Leo bridal style, he looked like he was having some trouble with Leo's weight but he managed to take him to the infirmary without breaking much or waking him up.

"It is getting late, you should get to bed my sons"

"hai Master Splinter"

We all walked to our rooms, except Donnie who was doing something in his lab. He soon came to his room though which was shocking. We all fell asleep thinking of the future to come.


	27. Chapter 27

Hey! I never thought my story would get this far especially with what its based on! Thank you for all the reviews everyone has gave me and all the favourites and followers!

* * *

><p>1 month 2 weeks...<p>

Leo's POV

It has been two weeks since I have stopped smoking, honest to God I was the most happiest turtle in the world. As soon as I stopped everything seemed to light up and everything went right.

I can honestly say I will always remember about me smoking but it will also remind me when I was alone and had to carry a heavy burden on my shoulder. I am so glad that it is over because now I don't have to carry all of that pressure, every single person of my small family help me carry it.

At the minute I was standing in my smoking tunnel remembering all the times I was in here regretting why I even started, but now I sort of miss it but not enough to start again.

I took my lighter out of the hole in the wall, I kept turning it to see the liquid go back and forth. I then holded it up right and flicked it so there was a flame. I smiled sadly.

"I thought I would of found you in here"

"you guessed right"

My brother came beside me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm proud of you bro, for accomplishing a hard task"

"thanks, I wouldn't of got through it though if you didn't start to help me"

"cheers"

Raph squeezed my shoulder before taking my lighter away from me.

"Come on lets get back to the lair"

I nodded at Raph with a smirk, we both walked through the cold sewers towards home where it hopefully will be warm. When we got inside the lair we saw our other bro's worrying.

"Where have you been Leo?"

Ever since I have stopped they have been keeping track of where I go because they hate for me to start again, I don't really blame them either.

"Visiting a memory"

Don and Mikey looked at me confused, I saw Raph roll his eyes while smirking.

"He was playing with his lighter"

Raph chucked my blue see-through lighter to Don, I didn't even try to grab it. Don looked at it before placing it in his belt pocket, he's probably going to get rid of it later on.

Through all of this I couldn't wish for better brothers, they supported me throuh thick and thin. I am so glad that they knew or I would still need that lighter. Well I've got to go, see ya!


End file.
